I should probably start by explaining what the term “baby gay” even means. Urban dictionary has it defined as a person who is newly out. I’d say it’s basically that moment when you meet a fellow queer and tell them “I just came out” and they respond, normally with excitement, “OMG a baby gay!”
Personally, I love the term! It is my own personal lesbian comfort blanket. Coming out is daunting but coming out in your mid twenties when you’ve spent your whole life with men is TERRIFYING! I had so many questions; where do you meet girls? how do you flirt with girls? who makes the first move? how do you do ANYTHING physical? It was truly a mine field. And this is why I loved my baby gay label, it was basically like having a massive sticker on my head that said “please be kind, I’m new to this and absolutely clueless.” It worked too, people would either outright say they weren’t interested in someone just out or they’d tell me not to worry as we’ve all been there at some point! The latter were my favourite.
Navigating my new found sexuality would have been hard enough but trying to navigate it during covid and multiple lockdowns was something else entirely. Ideally, I would’ve rocked up to a gay bar with my friends, got wasted and hoped for the best. Sadly, all the pubs were shut, so not only did I have to actively seek out women but I also had to go on every first date sober. If you’re not from Scotland or even UK the idea of doing things sober might seem normal but we’re a country of socially awkward drunks so I can guarantee you that getting wasted on a first date is standard procedure. So with bars, pubs and clubs shut and Scotland in perpetual lockdown, my plan to have a “hoe phase” quickly vanished. I had so many grand plans of meeting loads of girls and just learning different things along the way, nothing too serious or daunting, just some fun that, should things go terribly, I could walk away from with ease. Instead, I had to turn to the dreaded dating apps and just hope that by some miracle I’d work out how to talk girls in a way that wasn’t just friends.
I have had some truly tragic but funny moments during my “coming out” year so I thought, why not write them all in blog and see if others have had the same? So with that in mind, welcome to “Baby Gay Days” and I hope you enjoy the posts and maybe even relate to a few.