Single on Valentine’s: End of the World or Blessing in Disguise?

There’s a common stereotype about those of us that are single on Valentine’s Day, and it’s that we’re all bitter. And you know what? IT’S SPOT ON.

I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like seeing everyone all loved up makes me really happy, I hate you all. I would like to be spoiled on Valentine’s, sent a cute card, given endless hugs and kisses and told how amazing I am. But instead, I’ll be headed to work and then home to sit and wallow about being 27, living at home and single af.

With that said, I decided to stop being so self pitying and think of some reasons why being single this Valentine’s (and just in general) is actually a good thing.

The Stories

Personally I believe there’s two ways to look at being single; you can either wallow in self pity that out of 7 billion people you still haven’t found one single person willing to continually put up with your crap, or you accept that meeting the love of your life and living happily ever after is actually pretty boring.

I’m sure being loved unconditionally in a healthy relationship would be nice, but would it have the same entertainment factor as your tragic dating life? I bet not. Your friends might be getting cuddled to sleep every night but you’re getting a whole drama series, with side characters and insane plot twists. And who doesn’t love a bit of drama?

I’ve recently been told, that while dating me sounds exhausting (I can neither confirm nor deny), my dating stories are a source of great entertainment. One of my friends even went so far as to say she lives vicariously through my dating drama.

So next time you feel a bit low about being alone you can take comfort in knowing that you’re providing everyone else with some cracking stories and 10/10 entertainment.

The Lack of Stress

You could say that being single is stressful, but I feel like it’s only as stressful as you make it (and apparently I like to make it as chaotic as possible). However, when it comes to Valentine’s Day there’s nothing more stress free than having absolutely nothing and no-one to worry about except yourself.

Just picture how stressed everyone else will be trying to plan the perfect day and find the perfect gift, meanwhile you get to spend the day just relaxing peacefully by yourself.

Some people love giving gifts, I am not one of those people. Buying gifts is so stressful and if you haven’t been with your person for long it’s even worse.

What do you buy them? How much do you spend? Do you go for something cute? Something funny?

What if they get you a Swarovski necklace and you get them a pack of bacon and beer? (Yes, I did do this one Valentine’s. No I’m not sorry about it). So while you’re jealous of all the couples getting each other nice presents just remember they were probably stressed to fuck trying to find one, and you got to live life without that stress.

The Money

Sure no one is buying you flowers, chocolates or any of that other mushy crap. You aren’t being taken out for a romantic meal and being absolutely swept off your feet, but you’re also not having to buy anyone a gift, or take anyone out for a meal.

So while all your loved up pals are spending money on their other half, you can be spending it on the one person who really deserves it; YOURSELF.

Self Growth

Apparently, I have a lot of issues and unhealthy coping mechanisms (who knew?) and as such I have had a pretty turbulent love life this past year. Thriving in chaos might be a great quality to have at work but it hasn’t worked out so well for me in my personal life.

Maybe it’s commitment issues, maybe it’s attachment issues, or maybe it’s just good old unresolved trauma. Either way, I have problems and they need fixed. My usual solution to a breakup is to find someone new as fast as possible, but for once in my life I’m taking everyone’s advice and spending some time alone.

So far it’s been three weeks, and trust me when I say that’s a record for me (we’ll just ignore the fact that I’m still sleeping with my ex).

One thing I am slowly realising though is that being alone isn’t the end of the world and that taking time to properly heal will do me the world of good. So if you find yourself single this Valentine’s as well why not take it as a chance to work on yourself, and enjoy spending time alone.

The Fun Aunt

Remember the blissful days of childhood? When work wasn’t a thing and you could do and be anything you wanted with just the power of imagination! Now do you remember all those boring family get-togethers when the grown ups would be chatting about the most mundane of topics?

Who do you remember as the fun family member, the one all the kids loved?

I bet it wasn’t the aunt or uncle who was happily loved up with a family of their own. For me it was my single big cousin, who was almost always absolutely plastered, and would chase us around playing silly games. And that is exactly who I aspire to be.

I want to be the fun single aunt, or big cousin. The one with all the crazy stories, who does what they want and goes where they want. The one who isn’t tied down by a dull 9-5 and a family. The one who all the kids in the family can’t wait to see.

So maybe your friends are in stable, loving relationships, but are they the fun gay aunt??? I think not.

If in Doubt Petty it Out

If you’ve read through all this and you’re still not remotely convinced that being single is a good thing then I have just the thing for you. Forget healthy coping mechanisms, forget not being bitter, it’s time to be petty af.

I’m sure we all have at least one ex that deserves to burn in the fiery pits of hell. And if you do, then I have just the thing for this Valentine’s.

This has truly been the best discovery I have ever made (thank you tiktok). Apparently at certain zoos across the USA (of course, no other country would be this insane) you can name a cockroach after your ex, and then watch that cockroach being fed to an animal.

Is it the revenge your ex deserves, probably not. But seen as murder is illegal, I’d say this is really the next best thing. A lot of you are probably sitting thinking how petty that is, but some of us are unhealthy and toxic af so just let us have this moment, ok?

Generally speaking I don’t usually celebrate Valentine’s Day, it’s an overly commercialised holiday and if I’m actually with someone I love then I’ll show them that more than one day a year. So maybe you are feeling a bit low at being single on this day of love but in reality it’s no different than any other day of the year. So I say just go and enjoy your day, enjoy being free and enjoy loving yourself!

26 thoughts on “Single on Valentine’s: End of the World or Blessing in Disguise?

Add yours

  1. I love this post! So true that there are plenty of positives about being single on Valentine’s Day – but I also love the being petty concept. It’s rare to see people openly talk about the fact that we all have a petty side and it’s totally fine to embrace that!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like your points on self-growth, you absolutely don’t have to be coupled up on Valentine’s day and there are so many pros to it as you have demonstrated!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. These are great tips! I must admit, being a wife and a mother, I’m not even thinking of Valentines Day lol too much pressure and I’m exhausted as it is. When you really think about it, it’s just another day. You can celebrate love any time. The petty it out tip has me laughing. Thank you for sharing!


  4. This was a fantastic post! Plenty of people are perfectly fine being single. In fact, I think everyone should spend one Valentine’s Day on their own.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am in LOVE with your words about how you aspire to be “The Fun Aunt”. I am all about becoming that person as well, as being a free person, whether attached or not, is a wonderful way to stay in touch with myself, my needs, and the things I love. Love is universal. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I never really bought into Valentine’s Day as a big thing (could be because when I was growing up it wasn’t anywhere as big as it is now). I don’t think anyone should worry about being single, it gives you options and you can decide who you give time to, etc. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Although I’m in a relationship, I tend to be alone on Valentine’s Day due to our work schedules. I think being alone on this day is one of the best things, I mean it saves money and you can use the time to work on yourself and even pamper yourself. Good post!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I love this! Your honestly + authenticity is so refreshing! When I was single, it sucked! It was so easy to give the middle finger to anyone with a significant other but this post is a GREAT way to change your perception of being single! Self growth during this time as HUGE for me! Great tips!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I must admit, it used to bother me until a few years ago to be single on Valentine’s day. And that is because society made me feel like being single was not good enough. I am no longer part of that club, instead joined the one ‘it will happen one day, if not that’s still very much fine’ and it’s a great one too ha! x

    Liked by 1 person

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