There’s a common stereotype about those of us that are single on Valentine’s Day, and it’s that we’re all bitter. And you know what? IT’S SPOT ON.
I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like seeing everyone all loved up makes me really happy, I hate you all. I would like to be spoiled on Valentine’s, sent a cute card, given endless hugs and kisses and told how amazing I am. But instead, I’ll be headed to work and then home to sit and wallow about being 27, living at home and single af.
With that said, I decided to stop being so self pitying and think of some reasons why being single this Valentine’s (and just in general) is actually a good thing.
Personally I believe there’s two ways to look at being single; you can either wallow in self pity that out of 7 billion people you still haven’t found one single person willing to continually put up with your crap, or you accept that meeting the love of your life and living happily ever after is actually pretty boring.
I’m sure being loved unconditionally in a healthy relationship would be nice, but would it have the same entertainment factor as your tragic dating life? I bet not. Your friends might be getting cuddled to sleep every night but you’re getting a whole drama series, with side characters and insane plot twists. And who doesn’t love a bit of drama?
I’ve recently been told, that while dating me sounds exhausting (I can neither confirm nor deny), my dating stories are a source of great entertainment. One of my friends even went so far as to say she lives vicariously through my dating drama.
So next time you feel a bit low about being alone you can take comfort in knowing that you’re providing everyone else with some cracking stories and 10/10 entertainment.
The Lack of Stress
You could say that being single is stressful, but I feel like it’s only as stressful as you make it (and apparently I like to make it as chaotic as possible). However, when it comes to Valentine’s Day there’s nothing more stress free than having absolutely nothing and no-one to worry about except yourself.
Just picture how stressed everyone else will be trying to plan the perfect day and find the perfect gift, meanwhile you get to spend the day just relaxing peacefully by yourself.
Some people love giving gifts, I am not one of those people. Buying gifts is so stressful and if you haven’t been with your person for long it’s even worse.
What do you buy them? How much do you spend? Do you go for something cute? Something funny?
What if they get you a Swarovski necklace and you get them a pack of bacon and beer? (Yes, I did do this one Valentine’s. No I’m not sorry about it). So while you’re jealous of all the couples getting each other nice presents just remember they were probably stressed to fuck trying to find one, and you got to live life without that stress.
Sure no one is buying you flowers, chocolates or any of that other mushy crap. You aren’t being taken out for a romantic meal and being absolutely swept off your feet, but you’re also not having to buy anyone a gift, or take anyone out for a meal.
So while all your loved up pals are spending money on their other half, you can be spending it on the one person who really deserves it; YOURSELF.
Apparently, I have a lot of issues and unhealthy coping mechanisms (who knew?) and as such I have had a pretty turbulent love life this past year. Thriving in chaos might be a great quality to have at work but it hasn’t worked out so well for me in my personal life.
Maybe it’s commitment issues, maybe it’s attachment issues, or maybe it’s just good old unresolved trauma. Either way, I have problems and they need fixed. My usual solution to a breakup is to find someone new as fast as possible, but for once in my life I’m taking everyone’s advice and spending some time alone.
So far it’s been three weeks, and trust me when I say that’s a record for me (we’ll just ignore the fact that I’m still sleeping with my ex).
One thing I am slowly realising though is that being alone isn’t the end of the world and that taking time to properly heal will do me the world of good. So if you find yourself single this Valentine’s as well why not take it as a chance to work on yourself, and enjoy spending time alone.
The Fun Aunt
Remember the blissful days of childhood? When work wasn’t a thing and you could do and be anything you wanted with just the power of imagination! Now do you remember all those boring family get-togethers when the grown ups would be chatting about the most mundane of topics?
Who do you remember as the fun family member, the one all the kids loved?
I bet it wasn’t the aunt or uncle who was happily loved up with a family of their own. For me it was my single big cousin, who was almost always absolutely plastered, and would chase us around playing silly games. And that is exactly who I aspire to be.
I want to be the fun single aunt, or big cousin. The one with all the crazy stories, who does what they want and goes where they want. The one who isn’t tied down by a dull 9-5 and a family. The one who all the kids in the family can’t wait to see.
So maybe your friends are in stable, loving relationships, but are they the fun gay aunt??? I think not.
If in Doubt Petty it Out
If you’ve read through all this and you’re still not remotely convinced that being single is a good thing then I have just the thing for you. Forget healthy coping mechanisms, forget not being bitter, it’s time to be petty af.
I’m sure we all have at least one ex that deserves to burn in the fiery pits of hell. And if you do, then I have just the thing for this Valentine’s.
This has truly been the best discovery I have ever made (thank you tiktok). Apparently at certain zoos across the USA (of course, no other country would be this insane) you can name a cockroach after your ex, and then watch that cockroach being fed to an animal.
Is it the revenge your ex deserves, probably not. But seen as murder is illegal, I’d say this is really the next best thing. A lot of you are probably sitting thinking how petty that is, but some of us are unhealthy and toxic af so just let us have this moment, ok?
Generally speaking I don’t usually celebrate Valentine’s Day, it’s an overly commercialised holiday and if I’m actually with someone I love then I’ll show them that more than one day a year. So maybe you are feeling a bit low at being single on this day of love but in reality it’s no different than any other day of the year. So I say just go and enjoy your day, enjoy being free and enjoy loving yourself!